Erlibniss

stand for those experiences that make us feel most deeply and leave a profound impression on us, can be positive or negative, but they make us truly feel alive.
Dictionary Of Obscure Sorrows
My writing is full of this. The numbness of depression and cPTSD has taught me to make space for all the emotions, no matter where on the spectrum they fall. In ECE, we teach that there is not good or bad emotions, they're just emotions. Unfortunately, once you leave early childhood education, that stops being taught. They learn that anger, frustration, sadness are wrong or bad or emotions to ignore/suppress/get rid of. This is such a stifling way to exist; learning how to hold space for all our feelings is a huge part of healing. I've worked really hard to counter generational trauma as well as personal trauma and how it stigmatizes these emotions. Art has been my safe haven for all of me. Especially being late diagnosed autistic, and believing for a long time that my intense emotions were harmful, or bad, or unwanted --even though often the intensity of the emotions were the product of sensory overload or trauma that I didn't have language for.
 
This piece was a process over several days of playing around with different brushes and techniques and trying different things. I didn't really know where it was going. I also had no idea that I'd try to put my art on merchandise or anything like that when I was created. I just wanted to see what my brain would create when given the tools.
 
 
Image ID:
front
overall white background
splotchy dark blue across the image, and splotches of black in the bottom of center in the back.
three diagonal light blue strips going fromt he bottom left corner to the right corner.
white cross hatch overlay in the center in a few scattered places over dark blue splotches and a few turqoise green splotches.
Back:
same three diagnoal lines have alternating light blue and turqoise and different shades of blues alternating.
the black splotches are larger and more prominent in the left and right corners
more of the cobalt blue peeks through
there's white crosshatch against a black background
.: Material: Cruelty-free faux leather
.: Durable high-quality nylon zip and alloy hardware
.: Gold color thread stitching
.: Pockets for cash, credit cards, coins, and checkbook
.: One size: 7.87" x 4.33" (20cm x 11cm)